i love you.

Haiz.. 2:00 AM.. and still alive and kicking.. stupid sleep this afternoon.. now I am still awake.. wahaha.

Actually, I don't have the right to smile at this very moment. We have this physics project that we need to pass on Monday. We still not have started it, and I really don't have an idea on how to do it.. Now. Whatchamaganadu?

Feeling light headed.

I lack sleep. super. for a week, a person should ideally have 56 hours of sleep.. But I think I just have the half of it.. Gonna ask why? I also don't know. I have this sudden urge not to sleep early, and not to eat right. I want to stop it, but can't. Simply DON'T KNOW WHY.

Last Friday, I thought I am going to collapse. Lack of sleep and deprivation of water and food? Maybe. It's a good thing I was able to calm myself. But I still didn't feel well then.


Deeply appreciated.

I really feel this love from my guildmates in Fresbo. It is something like I really am part of their circle of friends. Everyday, I find myself enjoying their company.

"Buti pa sila, pinahahalagahan ako.."

This statement made me realize that it is basically more than a game. It is much of the care for each other. It is much of the love and affection we are sharing.

OH YES. A BORING VIRTUAL WORLD. but at least, I feel happy whenever I talk with them. I feel loved. At least, from them.

A lot more thanks.

Hipon, Ate Anne, Kuya Tep, Kuya Teng, Ate Jazz, Ate Kim, Ate KC, Kuya Farz, Kuya Devil KO, Kuya KO, and of course mah boss...

MY DEEPEST GRATITUDE FOR YOUR APPRECIATION. Thanks to you. I would have not tried to wake up each morning, not because of you guys. Thank you so much.


I love you. :)

selp-is-ness.

"You can call me selfish for all I want is your love..."

I miss Danica. She was not around this day for she took an entrance exam in San Juan de Dios College. Shocks. >.<

Haiz. I hate this day. Early in the morning, I had the urge to go home early. I wan t to talk to Kuya Mike, Kuya Zen, Kuya Teng, Kuya Tep and Ate Anne. Even if we just met in the VIRTUAL WORLD called Fresbo, I fell like I'm in heaven whenever I am talking to them. I feel so happy bacause they make me forget all my burdens in life. They reall y act like my older siblings and I am their bunso. I am just so sad that I could not to eith them on September 27 in Festival Mall. I don't have money, and i know that my mother won't permit me. Besides, responsibilities in school won't permit me either. SAD.

Speaking of responsibilities, I am the Vice President for Members of SALIW but the Sports Editor of The Molecules. I am squeezed by the pressure. Up to now, I still don't know what to prioritize.

If I am going to SALIW, it will be a big shame for me because I have attended SALIW for almost two months and not attending even a single Saturday for Molec.

If I am going to Molecules meeting, there will be a reaudition for SALIW members. I don't want to be expelled from the group. Besides, it will also be a shame for Mam May.


I really don't know what to do.. shocks. I'm scared for wrong decisions. Sick and tired of meeting them. HELP!!

start of something new?

erm.. So tired of going to school. So much responsibilities.. But though, I'm happy. But frankly speaking, I am not that eager to go to school everyday. I hate it. I prefer playing fresbo all day. Before. it is because of our friends, especially shai. But now, nothing's new. Everyday is always a normal day. Hate it. Shocks.

In contrast to the idea stated above, I basically like some of the new events. Dana and I are somewhat close already. I like her. I feel secured whenever I am with her, Danica and Mam May. hehe. I am actually enjoying our lunch times.. :)

So tired. Molecules [DSPC and stupid schedule of intrams], SALIW [october 3 and stupid intrams again],.. But I enjoy being busy. At least, I could divert my attention away from my problems.. haha.^^

I miss my Dad. Although I feel wrath towards him, I still love him. He's still my dad. I am excited for the end of September. Except from his promise to me, I will see him. I suddenly felt my longingness for a father. I really do hope for that encounter. I miss him so much.


so tired. need rest. even a week. hoping. having faith. loving you. hurt. cry. laugh.defense mechanism.


kyrkyr, stop now.

infatuation is always there...

kow.. there are many assignments.. it's still not sinking into me that I am a student again.. i am so drowsy the whole day. In every subject, I am really sleeping. waaaaa. I am really tired..


I wasn't able to rest yesterday. I arrived at 3:30 PM. I watched our performance and I am so amazed. I really never realized that our performance will really be a BOOM. I am so happy and very contented with the results. WE ARE THE CHAMPION! Our efforts were really rewarded. All our hard works were worth it.

***

"I miss you. Don't you know that?"


Ate Kimmy told me about that time and guilt. You talked. I know that. I'm happy [I think] that you know that it is your fault. I miss you. damn much.

Cupid and Psyche. Love and Trust. Possibility to fall in love though you still have not seen the person you like. Possible. I know. Experienced it. Twice. And disappointed. Hurt. Cried. Hurt. Still hurt.

Hmm. Now i know. I'm stupid. I don't actually love you. Infatuation is always there. I hate it. Why didn't i even realize it? Shocks.


"rysh, i love you."



"sorry i dn't feel the same thing. :)"

Boredom. Guilt. Anger. Defeat.

[082008]

This was supposed to be my post last night but all thanks to those stupid smart bro cables, we wern'r able to have any chance of being connected. grrr. now, we are here in UPLB, BIOTECH division for our final experimentation., and we are just waiting fo rthe time to come for us to observe our set-ups.

Anyway, I simply want to narrate what happened yesterday. We, [dnx, mixah and I] talked about boys. [huh? lol.] It came to the point that we felt that it was not really our fault for us to fall for them. It is definitely theirs. If they didn't do those lovable things and the like, of course we won't like them. I simply don't know his intention of making "lambing" to US.

oh yes. you read it right. it's US.


"miss ko na sina kuya zen.. T.T"

"i hate him."

"bakit kb nagagalit sa knya?!"

"eh lab na lab kita eh.."


shut up. simple stupidity. i believed in him. and we all did. we trusted him sooooooooo much , and not we are hurt so badly.


i hate you so damn much.